Is all screentime created equally? A pediatrician shares concerns and recommendations
When it comes to screentime, parents have tough decisions to make. And there isn’t a playbook or general agreement among parents and experts about the right time to introduce computers, phones, and social media to kids.
“The technology advanced so quickly that it arrived unfettered and without guardrails to help parents, myself included, navigate parenting with unrestricted screen use,” said Maggie Kappelman, DO, a pediatrician at M Health Fairview Clinic – Highland Park.
She noted that some parents get their 9-year-olds smartphones and some parents wait until their child is in high school. While there is no one-size-fits-all solution, Kappelman offered some guidance that she hopes parents will consider when making decisions for their families.
Screens affect sleep, social skills, and mental health.
Screen time has an addictive quality to it, Kappelman said. Kids – just like adults—can get sucked into online gaming or social media. When someone is using a phone or a screen, that means they are not doing something else like sleeping, moving, or having a face-to-face interaction with another person. They are also more likely to be exposed to unsolicited targeted advertisements or misinformation. When kids from previous generations had a problem, they might have shared their concerns with a parent or asked for advice. Now, kids might search the internet for solutions and may not know how to verify if information is accurate.
“I'm concerned that kids are getting answers to their questions from inaccurate information that's online,” Kappelman said.
The internet also won’t break news to your child in the same gentle, age-appropriate way a parent might. Social media and the decrease in face-to-face social connection can have mental health consequences, especially for adolescents who use social media.
“There is evidence that social media use and the increase in phone use among kids and adolescents leads to increased rates of mental illness and eating disorders among teenagers,” Kappelman said. “I’m concerned about social isolation and predatory behavior online towards kids especially with unsupervised use and access to the internet. Parents may not be aware that some gaming platforms allow strangers to directly message their kids unless the messaging setting are changed. I'm concerned about healthy body image and healthy relationships with food for kids who are online, especially on social media. I'm concerned about online bullying. In short, I’m concerned about a lot of things related to unrestricted phone use in kids and adolescents.”
With all those concerns, you might want to delay when you introduce any screen let alone a phone with internet access or social media access as long as possible. However, that may not be realistic when schoolwork is done on iPads or computers. For some kids, their relationships with family members may be enhanced through technology. Kids are also seeing most of the grownups and role models in their lives frequently reaching for devices.
What can parents and caregivers do?
Consider device choices carefully.
First, Kappelman recommends being thoughtful about what purpose the device serves for your family. Then make sure the device you choose fills just that need while being cautious about giving kids access to the internet and cameras.
If you want your child to be able to watch shows or read ebooks, you might consider a media player that you can load with approved shows and books. If you want to reach the kids after school or when they have a babysitter, maybe a landline would be enough.
“If your child is using the bus to get to and from school and you want to make sure they have a communication device, a flip phone or limited capability starter phone or smart watch will serve that need,” Kappelman said. “You can find one that has tracking, texting, and phone capabilities but doesn’t have access to the internet or a camera.”
Limit screen use.
It’s easy to lose track of time with a device in your hand, so put limits on when devices can be used, Kappelman suggests. You might make it a family rule that no screens are allowed at the dinner table or that they must be checked in at 7 p.m. on school nights.
Kappelman recommends keeping screens out of bedrooms. Not only does that give parents more opportunity to monitor use, but it also helps with everyone’s sleep.
“There's great evidence that even when a phone or a device is turned off, if it's in the bedroom, it still impacts sleep quality,” Kappelman said. “Sleep is critical for helping us cope with stress.”
Monitor kids’ device use.
For kids, Kappelman’s message is simple: “I tell my young patients that they’re not entitled to privacy on their devices. You need to expect that your parents, because they care about you and your safety, are going to monitor how you’re using your device,” she said.
To parents, Kappelman offers this reminder: Healthy kids are adept at getting around rules when using these devices. They might change the app icon, so that they have social media, but the icon looks like a calculator, for example.
“You can’t put enough parental controls on there to control every scenario, so be careful when introducing a smartphone and setting rules that feel comfortable for your family,” she said.
You might decide to glance over your child’s shoulder while they’re on their devices or talk to them about what they’re doing. Once kids have a smartphone, parents may have to navigate requests for new apps – a process that can become a daily negotiation, Kappelman said. This is something our society needs to grapple with and it’s hard to do it alone – so try to get other parents and your school system on board as well, so you don’t feel like your kid is the only one being left out, Kappelman suggested. This is important for all of us.
Consider alternatives.
We’ve all gotten used to having constant entertainment in our pockets. Whether we’re waiting for kids at dance class or sitting through a boring meeting, it’s easy to reach for the phone and start scrolling. Kids see this and learn to expect constant entertainment as well.
But it’s OK to get bored, Kappelman said. It’s even encouraged. Kappelman likes to remind the families she sees that old-school entertainment options are still available. You can bring a paperback book to read while your child is at an activity or strike up a conversation with the person behind you in line at the grocery store. You can even declare screen-free time and get the whole family outside for a walk, game of Frisbee, or just gazing up at the clouds.
Learn more
If you want more information, Kappelman recommends the following books.
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The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt, gives concrete recommendations that parents can use to guide their family’s screentime rules.
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The Self-Driven Child by William Stixrud, PhD and Ned Johnson, is about encouraging children to play and explore.
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Unselfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in our All-About-Me World by Michelle Borba, includes some screen recommendations for promoting empathy.
