A family’s gratitude for end-of-life care
Michael Schultz held many titles across the many stages of his life: hard-working farmer, star athlete, devoted husband, beloved father, youth soccer coach, “cool papa” to four grandchildren, woodworker, card game club member. He proudly wore several of those hats – even a literal Green Bay Packers one – after moving from Wisconsin to Eagan to be close to family in retirement.
"He had a full life, a good life, a happy life," says his wife of 51 years, Judy. "What more could you want? That’s our Mike story."
After more than two weeks in the intensive care unit at M Health Fairview Southdale Hospital last year, it became clear that Mike would require continuous medical interventions to survive. His family met with a palliative care team and, honoring his request, made plans for removing the tube that was keeping him alive.
Mike died peacefully at age 73, surrounded by Judy and their children, Sarah Fazendin and Steph Kennelly.
Discovering silver linings
In her process of grieving, Steph came to cherish the peaceful, intimate nature of her father's passing, and it gave her a new perspective on life, death, and their inevitable intersection.
"This will remain one of the most important moments of my life; the other side of the coin to seeing my children’s faces for the first time," Steph says. "We don’t talk much about death, but we should. We may not choose the time or place, but we can hope for dignity, compassion, and even beauty."
Mike's family recognized that the atmosphere and care they experienced on his final day was as ideal as could be hoped for in such a situation. Moved to share their appreciation, Steph penned an eloquent, deep letter, in which she thanked ICU nurse Ariah Garland in particular: "Above all, I am grateful for Ariah — our nurse, our angel — who supported us and gently guided my dad to the other side."
Steph detailed the empathetic touches Ariah provided — above and beyond caring for Mike — that made such a difference for the family in his final hours. Some seemed innate: speaking with compassion, stepping in or out at just the right moments, reassuring the family that she would stay with Mike's body after they left. Others were more practical: making the room comfortable, offering ice water, arranging the bed so Steph could lay next to her dad.
Minutes after Mike passed away, Ariah presented each of the family members with a small vial containing a printout of Mike's final heartbeats.
“It was the very sound I had just heard beneath my ear," Steph says. "We clutched those precious gifts and could only manage two words: 'Thank you.' To look at that was really a special, special gift."
A tearful reunion
Together in the Cities for the holidays, Judy, Steph, and Sarah stopped by Southdale for a tearful reunion with Ariah.
"I read your letter multiple times," Ariah told Steph after a round of hugs. "I still have it. It's so touching."
The family and their “angel” caught up about Mike's celebration of life and plans for scattering his ashes, laughed at old family photos, and reflected on his passing.
"You helped us be at peace with it," Sarah told Ariah. "We are at peace with it. To actually, truly be at peace with it is the most important thing. We didn’t have a choice in the situation, but we had choices at every step of the way. We weren’t told what to do. We were given options and the time we needed, and that feels like a gift."
"We’re just one family: how many families have you touched?" Steph added. "Some days it must be so hard. We just want you to know that you really make a difference."
Working in the ICU, Ariah shared that circumstances beyond anyone's control often prevent the opportunity for such precious end-of-life moments between patients and their family members.
"Your story is very beautiful," she told the family. "It’s not always like that. I’m so grateful to know that it was, and I wish I could give that to all of my families and patients. That’s why I do what I do."
Consider writing a health care directive
As Mike’s health worsened, Judy, Sarah, and Steph had to guide his care team on when to continue, and when to stop, certain treatments like intubation. Because they already knew what Mike wanted, they weren’t left guessing in the middle of a crisis. What might have been an overwhelming burden instead became a clearer set of choices.
“Thank goodness we had a health care directive,” Steph says.
Reading Mike’s wishes in his own words helped the family reflect on the conversations they had shared with him over the years. Those discussions gave them the clarity they needed.
“When we arrived at the hospital on his final day,” Steph adds, “we knew we were saying goodbye.”
We don’t always do well with end-of-life conversations. They can feel uncomfortable or emotional. But these conversations aren’t about avoiding hard moments, they’re about giving people a voice in their care. They’re about opening the door so that, when the time comes, no one is left making decisions in the dark.
Advance care planning and health care directive resources are available, including free informational classes and form templates and directions for submitting copies into your health record. With questions, call 952-914-1773 or email honoringchoices@fairview.org.
