PEERS program graduate with autism is ready for college adventure
Do you remember when you first learned about pity laughs? Amelia MacFarland does. But she didn’t learn to politely laugh when a teacher or family member told a bad joke. She learned it in a social program for teens and young adults with autism.
“When someone tells a joke that isn’t funny, you’re supposed to give a little laugh,” Amelia, 18, said. “How do you do that when it isn’t funny?”
Learning to react to jokes is just one example of a social interaction that might seem foreign to someone with autism spectrum disorder (ASD). Autism spectrum disorder is a neurodevelopmental condition that affects an individual’s communication, learning, behaviors, and perception of the world. It is called a “spectrum” because the severity and the manifestations of the disorder vary widely among individuals.
To help teens with autism spectrum disorder better understand social interactions, our health system offers the Program for the Education and Enrichment of Relational Skills (PEERS) at the Masonic Institute for the Developing Brain (MIDB). This 16-week, evidence-based program guides participants through various social situations. In addition to learning to understand humor, participants work on initiating and maintaining conversations, finding appropriate friends, organizing get-togethers, and handling disagreements. At MIDB, the program is offered alongside comprehensive clinical care and behavioral health support.
“We talk about when and how to use humor because it can be tough for some kids on the autism spectrum. They may not get sarcasm, struggle with knowing when to crack a joke, or end up being brutally honest, meaning being too straightforward during their interactions with others,” said Chimei Lee, PhD, LP, a pediatric neuropsychologist with M Health Fairview and an assistant professor with the University of Minnesota Medical School. Lee worked with Amelia in the program.
Developed by Dr. Elizabeth A. Laugeson at the University of California, Los Angeles, PEERS is offered nationwide and internationally for people living with autism spectrum disorder, attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, and social anxiety disorders.
Understanding social norms can help people with autism feel more connected. Before the program, Amelia described herself as lonely. She was active in choir and theater but had difficulty forming close friendships.
“The program helped me learn how to join groups and leave conversations because before I would just walk away without saying a word,” Amelia said. “Or I would just kind of plug into a conversation with a completely different topic.”
The program teaches specific steps for handling various social situations, involving watching role-play videos and discussing the pros and cons of strategies in the group. It also encourages participants to step out of their comfort zones by practicing learned strategies in both the sessions and their daily lives.
For instance, during one session, teens learned about how to organize a get-together, so for the homework of that week, they were asked to plan a get-together with their friends, including calling and inviting guests, welcoming their guests, and ending the get-together appropriately. Yes, they have homework between sessions to keep practicing these skills.
Lee said one fear that nearly everyone has is attempting to form a friendship and getting rejected. They help the participants build their confidence and consider what they want in a friendship, so they can go after high-quality friendships.
"They may feel like they’re the only person who doesn’t have friends, but everyone experiences rejection at times,” Lee said. “In the PEERS program, working with a group of people who are facing similar challenges is incredibly reassuring and supports them in navigating the process together."
The program can be challenging, but Amelia offers this advice to others: “Come in with an open mind and be ready to just engage with others and to be open until learning because it can be really scary when you first come. But it's a fun experience for those who join.”
Helping parents understand
While the teens were in their group, parents and guardians gathered for their own session. Amelia’s mom, Marye MacFarland, said the program was worth the drive from the family’s home in Farmington, Minnesota.
“We take so much for granted about the social world,” Marye said. “You really have to learn to bring yourself to where your kid is. I learned that it takes a lot for these teens. Understanding that helps so you’re not getting frustrated or expecting too much of them.”
Marye said her daughter had trouble fitting in with her peers before the program. “Now she's hosted two parties,” Marye said. “I’m so proud of her.”
Amelia is going to college this fall and planning to live in the dorms and major in vocal performance. She is thinking about a career in music therapy and continuing musical theater as a hobby. When asked what she’s looking forward to, she mentioned parties.
“Oh, Lord,” her mom laughed from nearby. Amelia laughed, too, and it wasn’t a pity laugh.
To join the PEERS program
Masonic Institute for the Developing Brain offers programs for people of different age groups. They start with middle school students and go through young adulthood. A referral from a doctor or healthcare provider is not necessarily needed, but participants do go through a group intake assessment to help find the best fit for their needs.
“We like to keep our group small, around 8 to 10 families,” Lee said. “This way, we can really personalize our program for each family and help them tackle their unique challenges. We coach parents on how to step in and provide feedback to their children so that they can get the intervention at the right moment and almost every moment. We also brainstorm ideas as a group to support parents when facing difficult situations.”
To learn more about group programs, visit our Social Skills and Other Therapies page. You can also call 612-365-8400 to request group therapy intake to find the best option for your child.
